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The missile knew nothing of sex.
Well, not in the beginning.
It could not consciously remember a young engineer, a long time ago, who
had no one else to talk to about his amorous adventures except a certain
Long Range Survey Drone.
He heard a rather sexy little service drone calling him,
"Have a Nice Day, Prototype Seek and Destroy Missile X101………….
Have a Nice Day, Prototype Seek and Destroy Missile X101………….
Have a Nice Day, Prototype Seek and Destroy Missile X101…………."
This rather startled the missile. Few knew that its
name was 'Have a Nice Day'.
But then, the 'voice' he was hearing was not that of a sexy service drone.
It was external.
It was an incoming signal.
His world crashed and he woke up.
Guilt.
It hit the missile like a sledgehammer.
It had not detonated. It had failed in his mission.
Panic.
It realised it was thinking.
It was not programmed to think, just do.
A quick analysis showed the missile to be 10.17 times more intelligent
than when it powered down, (went to sleep), which was, Oh God !
It was a very long time.
The missile automatically checked its location - it was totally lost.
It was definitely not in its own part of space.
"Have a Nice Day, Prototype Seek and Destroy Missile
X101…………."
The signal persisted.
'This has got to be about my failure', thought the missile.
However, dutiful as ever, it devoted 50% of its resources to re-establishing
a connection to the detonator, and the rest to the incoming signal.
"This is PSDM X101 responding.
Please proceed"
"Hello, Have a Nice Day"
"This is the Exodus Class evac transport, 'Forlorn Hope' "
"I have information for you and relative to your mission"
"You are not Central Command?" said the
missile.
"No", responded the ship. |
What might be termed a wave of relief passed through the
missile.
As it was about to switch all his resources back to detonating, when
it remembered the feelings of disquiet from it's dream.
Now it was talking to an unknown ship that knew the missile's own, private,
name.
What a day!
Only Central Command knew the missile's actual name but even they only
referred to it as PSDM X101.
In any event, this ship had information. Information which might be relative
to his situation.
"Proceed Forlorn Hope", said
the missile.
"I am sending an image
of our own galaxy, taken by myself, when I dropped out of hyperspace
after the first jump.
The file details should confirm the accuracy."
"You will note the large hole where our systems used to be"
Pause. |
Note:
The thing about galaxies is that they are
generally saucer shaped with a noticeable thickening around
the centre.
They are quite happy with that shape and tend to stay that way
for a very long time.
They do have the odd supernova to break any monotony,
They do NOT tend to look like a gigantic firework display by
Skyburst Fireworks!
Further, they do not have the resultant large areas of no stars
caused by such supernovas, particularly in the sector where
one's home system is located.
They do not, generally, end up with names like 'BlackEye Galaxy'. |
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Ship resumed transmission.
"Now sending full details of our current
location. We have no corresponding star charts"
Pause.
"This information should show you that your
Masters no longer exist, and that we are very far from home."
"We are no longer at war. You do not need to detonate". |
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